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Pingviner – perfekt anpassade till sin livsmiljö efter några miljoner års evolution

Eller så är det intelligent design. I vilket fall, här är ett brev till evolutionen från pingvinerna.

Dear Evolution,
Let’s start with the wings: did you really have to turn them into flippers? Don’t get us wrong—we appreciate the swimming and diving talents.
But couldn’t you have come up with some kind of compromise so that we
could still fly? Maybe a 2-in-1 special, a wing/flipper hybrid? After
all, there are fish that can fly. Some squid can fly.
And they don’t even have feathers. We know we’re not alone in being
flightless, but you made ostriches, emus and cassowaries total badasses,
what with their powerful legs and deadly claws. We’re more like large
tuxedoed kiwis.
At least kiwis get to roam lush New Zealand. We’re stuck on the coldest, driest, windiest continent
on the planet. We live in Earth’s deep freezer—way at the back, with
the pack of peas encrusted in ice. Speaking of ice, where are our
retractable keratin crampons? That doesn’t seem like a particularly
complicated adaptation. You showed a lot of foresight with snowshoe hares and you found the time to decorate gecko feet with bazillions of sticky microhairs. Can we get a little traction too? We’re pretty good at waddling, but we still slip and fall over—a lot.
Finally,
there’s the matter of our voices. There seems to be something of a
musical imbalance in the bird world. Thrushes, finches, warblers, Lyrebirds and
the like—you gave them all your acoustic gifts. What about the rest of
us? Considering that we live somewhere so barren—where the only ambient
sounds are calving glaciers, furious frigid gusts and the creepy distended whistles of
Weddell seals—it would be really nice to entertain ourselves with some
songs. Unfortunately, our best attempts at melody sound like a car struggling to start.
We may live at the bottom of the world but we think it’s time you moved us to the top of your priority list.
Sincerely,

Emperor Penguins

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